When I was pregnant with my first, I thought joy would just… show up. Like, I’d hold my baby and this magical switch would flick on — cue the glowing light, angel music, and me just knowing how to do everything.
Spoiler: It didn’t work like that.
Instead, I got spit-up on my new robe, couldn’t remember the last time I ate something that didn’t come out of a packet, and spent far too long crying in the bathroom while googling “how to get baby to nap longer than 30 minutes.”
Here’s what I’ve figured out after years of messy, beautiful, exhausting motherhood — joy isn’t about everything going right. It’s about changing how you look at it. And these five little shifts? They saved my sanity. And no, they’re not from some parenting textbook. They’re from late-night group chats, park bench talks, and the unfiltered wisdom of moms who’ve been there.
From “Perfect Days” to “Good Enough Moments”
I used to have this Pinterest version of motherhood in my head — slow mornings, happy kids in matching pajamas, me with brushed hair and maybe even mascara.
Reality?
It’s me making scrambled eggs while my toddler “helps” by cracking eggs onto the floor. It’s me wearing yesterday’s leggings and not being entirely sure if that’s peanut butter or something more sinister on my shirt.
One mom in my playgroup — her name’s Saira, queen of keeping it real — once told me, “I stopped aiming for perfect days the moment I realised the bar was set by people with nannies and filters.”
Now I aim for “good enough moments.” Like last week — dinner was toast. Just toast. But we sat together, laughed about the dog trying to “talk,” and my daughter decided to wear a superhero cape at the table. Not Pinterest-worthy… but honestly? More joyful and exactly the kind of thing that reminds me of these parenting tips to raise happy kids.
From “I Have to Do It All” to “It’s Okay to Let Go”
You know that voice in your head saying, “You should be doing more”? Yeah, mine’s loud too.
For the longest time, I thought a good mom meant being there for every bedtime, making everything from scratch, keeping the house guest-ready (spoiler: nobody visited), and still finding time to work and look presentable.
Then, one Tuesday, I was folding laundry at midnight, crying into a pile of mismatched socks. My husband walked in and said, “Why don’t you just leave it for tomorrow?” And I just stared at him like he’d suggested we move to Mars. Leave laundry? What madness.
But here’s the thing — I tried it. And nothing exploded. No one died. The socks didn’t revolt. I slept. The next day I was less snappy and actually enjoyed storytime with my son.
A mom from our neighbourhood WhatsApp group said it best: “Some things matter in five years. Some things don’t. Learn which is which.” It’s a perspective that’s been helping me slow down and focus on connection, especially in those early days when you’re trying to build a strong bond with your newborn.
From “Every Stage is Forever” to “This Too Shall Pass”
When my first baby was teething, I thought it would never end. Those nights felt endless. I couldn’t picture a time when I’d sleep again. And then one day, the teeth were in, she was smiling, and I realised… that stage was gone.
The hard stuff feels permanent when you’re in it. The tantrum phase. The clingy phase. The “I only eat beige food” phase. But every older mom I’ve ever met swears they pass quicker than you think.
Just last month, a mom at the park — whose kids are in college — told me, “One day, you’ll miss stepping on Lego.” I laughed… then thought about it later, and yeah, she’s probably right.
Now, when we’re in a rough patch, I remind myself — we’re also in a stage. Not forever. And sometimes that’s enough to breathe and keep going.
From “Me Last” to “Me Too”
This one’s tricky. Moms are Olympic-level at putting themselves last. I used to think it was noble. “Sacrifice” and all that.
But burnout isn’t noble. Burnout is snapping at your kid because they asked for water again. It’s sitting in the car for an extra five minutes because you can’t face the chaos inside.
One day, my friend Priya — mom of four — said, “I don’t want my kids to think moms disappear when they have children.” That hit me. Hard.
So I started doing little “me too” moments. Drinking my coffee while it’s still hot. Saying no to another episode of Paw Patrol so I can take a shower. Meeting a friend without kids once in a while.
Guess what? The world didn’t fall apart. My kids actually get a happier mom. And they’re learning that taking care of yourself is normal, not selfish.
From “I’m Alone in This” to “We’re All in This Together”
Motherhood can feel isolating. Like you’re the only one whose kid threw up in the grocery store or whose toddler licked the dog.
But then you swap stories with other moms and realise — oh, it’s not just me. We’re all just trying, failing, laughing, crying, and figuring it out as we go.
One of my favourite memories is sitting in a circle at the library’s toddler time, swapping “worst day” stories. One mom confessed she once drove to daycare without her kid (he was with grandma, thank goodness). Another shared how her twins coloured the wall… with peanut butter.
We laughed until we cried. And in that moment, every bit of “I’m failing” melted into “I’m normal.”
The joy isn’t just in the kids — it’s in the community of moms who see you, mess and all.
Here’s to More Joy in Your Motherhood Journey
Motherhood is messy. Some days it’s beautiful, some days it’s exhausting, and most days it’s both. But joy doesn’t live in the perfect moments. It lives in the crumbs on the table, the mismatched socks, the inside jokes you share with other moms, and the quiet relief of knowing you’re not doing it alone.
If you can shift your mindset — just a little — you’ll see that joy has been there all along. You just have to notice it.
